Having posted on LinkedIn on a weekly basis over Autumn 2023 my Twenty Top Tips for Getting your Affairs in Order, I have decided to revisit and update the list.
The most important thing I now realise is Relationships. Having languished at No. 15, this has definitely become my No. 1 Priority, following points raised and discussions at a variety of lectures given over the Summer.
Too often I come across cases, especially although not exclusively as a family member is nearing the end, where people are simply ‘not talking to each other’. This may be a parent with one or more children or as between siblings and so on.
So I have come to the conclusion that the No. 1 Priority is Getting our Relationships Right. Once that is done, it seems to me that, given the will (with a lower case ‘w’) and a fair wind, everything else can follow.
Each of us has a variety of relationships, whether within families or with friends. Especially as you get older, you can be intentional about time spent with your chosen family members and close friends.
Sometimes things happen in life which cause a rift, even (or perhaps especially) comparatively small things. So, where you are conscious of ‘unfinished business’ with anyone, you may want to do your best to put it right, whether it’s a matter of forgiving them or, if you are ‘the guilty party’, asking for forgiveness. That way, you can, indeed, ‘rest in peace’ when the time comes.
More generally, in terms of developing our Relationships, I have five ‘C’s’ for you to consider:
1. Conversations
2. Consideration
3. Compassion
4. Curiosity
5. Collaboration.
And, widening the debate, those conversations need not be just with close family members of friends, but with a whole range of people. These would include those you may have appointed as attorneys under a Lasting Power of Attorney, guardians of minor children, executors of your Will and so on. By all means set out your wishes in writing, but nothing can take the place of not just one meeting but a whole range of ‘gettings together’, which might well have the effect of refining your wishes to produce the best possible expression of them.
My Question: does any of the above strike a chord with you? If so, what are you going to do about it?
